Wag the Dog Motherf*ckers(!)

Wag the Dog Motherfuckers(!)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I never thought I’d get rich playing rock and roll. It was the adventure I was after. If that’s what they were selling, I was buying.

A few things I learned while gigging in Belgrade, Serbia the last couple days:

While the NATO forces were dropping bombs over Belgrade nine years ago [see pics of bombed out building I took from my cab] the local TV played Wag the Dog once a week. Chew on that for a moment.

Somewhere Monica Lewinsky was eating a cheeseburger, bent over the laundry hamper watching CNN. NATO is making their explosive point and the good people of Serbia are watching Wag the Dog on TV.

And I suppose back in the US of A David Mamet continues his transformation from “brain dead liberal” to whatever he is now.

When Ivan (pronounced “even” like “Even Steven”) the head of my gang of local promoters heard over the radio that his prime minister Zoran Djindjic had been assassinated, he was busy with scissors and glue making a gig poster.

The gig went on.

A local band recorded Lou Reed’s “The Day that John Kennedy Died” and adapted it to “The Day Zoran Djindjic Died”.

The state theatre I played is undergoing a million dollar renovation. There was a vote to determine whether to purchase a fleet of ambulances or to renovate the theatre. The people spoke. They wanted the theatre.

Wag the Dog.

It’s weird to look at the bombed and hollowed-out buildings. A bomb can take out a city block, yet 100 feet away, the next block over is untouched.

During the Bush years, when bands came over from the states to play and shouted “Fuck Bush!” the audiences rolled their eyes. They didn’t need the Supersuckers to tell them; they knew a little about a world gone wrong.

You still see the odd rusting Yugo on the street. They were manufactured, If that’s the proper verb, not far from here.

The security guys look like Yugoslavian wrestlers we saw on the Wide World of Sports of our youth. When he hulks over and turns the key to the glass doors to let us in, it makes me smile.

A BRIEF HISTORY:

Back at the theatre, I was given a digested history of the former Yugoslavian state Serbia by my man Dragon over coffee after the sound-check before the gig. Mostly our chat centered around the history as it related to Rock and Roll.

Dragon tells me that shortly after they sent the Nazi’s packing, the Monarchy was out and prime minister Tito was in. Marshall Tito broke off a piece for the people apart from the Soviet Bloc. Everyone got a passport and were free to come and go. Now independent, Yugoslavia served as a kind of buffer zone between the west and the more hardcore communist Russia. It was not as isolated as one might think. Most importantly, passports meant everyone could bring back records from abroad. LP’s were also pressed up along with comics and such. Love and Rockets translated into Serbian, anyone? And all the arts flourished, although criticizing or protesting the government was not cool, artists were free to express anything as long as it was metaphorical. Sticking it to the man took a kind of poetry to pull off.

Western businesses were allowed to set up shop as long as they didn’t employ more than 10 people.

There were two flights per day into London. It didn’t take much to befriend a stewardess to bring back the records you read about in the NME.

Late night DJ’s on Radio B ruled. You might hear the Bay City Rollers, Zep and Lou Reed’s Berlin back to back. The Pistols were not banned in fact. Radio B is still alive and well. I visited there for an interview. Although, sadly, during the NATO chaos much of the record library was looted.

Wag the Dog.

Szechlana tells me when they had to evacuate the radio station during the bombings (the station’s the tallest building in Belgrade), going underground meant they set up shop in a hotel room down the block sitting around on the side of the bed playing records from their makeshift control room.

No other way to say it, so I ask her, what-was-it-like? She says she maybe has blocked it out. Doesn’t think about it. I look over at the carcass of a building through the cab and back through her eyes as she’s talking, imagine her dreams scrambled and unscrambling. You can’t block it all out.

Svechlana, Ivan, Dragon, and Capo looked after me. They made my gig happen. Righteously cool people. See the photos. That’s Szvechlana the redhead in the beret, working the Patty Hearst look, (unbeknownst to her I’m sure).

The show went well. They had four lights to work with. But they bounced them off the cinema screen as a backdrop. It was beautiful. Behind the board, a bright kid with an emo shag went out and produced some batteries for my pedals when my rig went down out of nowhere. I said, “These aren’t some dodgy Russian 9 Volts are they?” (Probably not necessary but hey, as Larry David says, I took a shot). The kid effortlessly dialed in the monitors, and they too s*p*a*r*k*l*e*d.

I autographed a Russian pressing of Age Of Miracles. Never seen that before. It had a stamp on it, said: “limited edition”. I guess so.

Wag the Dog.

Maybe I’ll never understand the world gone wrong of genocide, cleansing, and senseless fighting. But I met beautiful people, who are making do with so little. Unfazed by hyper-inflation and unrest and isolation. Pressing on with hope that anything is possible. Now that’s rock and roll.

And that dog can wag, motherfuckers.

[ Belgrade Radio Advert - MP3 ]

You’re a brave man Mr. Prophet in more ways than you probably know.

I was talking with a guy a few weeks ago down in San Diego he’s a full time musician plays in several bands, gives drum lessons, hasn’t had a “real” job in 30 years. I’ve been thinking about choices and plans and crumbling cookies alot lately and I just had to ask him.

“Pocket (that’s his nickname) what kind of health insurance you have?

He says “Oh it’s lousy, high deductible cheapest I can get.”

Mrs. Pocket rolls her eyes in agreement.
I said “How about retirement, you know IRA, pension…401K?”

He says “Shit you kiddin?”

I say “Hey man I’m in the same boat my boss dropped our
medical plan down to one just like yours and what little I had in my 401K got cut in half over the last six months…You
see what I’m saying?”

Pocket says “Yeah! We all musicians now.”

I said “Yeah except you guys are used to this shit you know how to roll with it and by the way how many times have you been to Europe anyway?”

Pocket turns around shouting to our hostess “Betsy! Where’d you find this guy?”

Mrs. Pocket beams and says “WE’VE been twice - he’s been over there a lot more than that.”

So while you’re over there in Ireland Mr. Prophet, do me a favor and buy an Irish friend a drink for me and toast to music and adventures and good choices. I’ll pay you back in Amelican dollah next time I see you.

[ LINK ]

Reno Sepulveda
Feb 28, 09


We all illiterate now! Brave, I dont think so. Too lazy to work, too nervous to steal maybe…. Always a pleasure never a chore Reno mi amigo. Go easy.

Chuck
Mar 1, 09


Chuck. Hi there. And talking of Ireland, your old friend Irish Joe Ambrose was back in the UK for a splash and dash. He stayed with me down in Brighton, we did some editing work on Joe`s new Marrakesh DJ mix and talked a lot. Joe was asking after you…...he says hi & so do I. Safe journeys my friend…........

and hi Reno

paulh

[ LINK ]

Paul Hawkins
Mar 2, 09


Yo, Chuck. You are officially the coolest person I’ve ever met on a Belgrade - Zagreb train. (dunno if you remember…you put me on the guestlist. thank you, thank you, thank you.)
The very correct (if I may say so) digested history of ex-Yugoslavia makes me wish I was born some 30 years earlier, back when my country was…well, a country, not a giant McDonald’s (fuck. Everything was better back then. Socialism >> disgusting ethnonationalism, free market, bombs, NATO & EU. OK, whatever). Anyway, just wanted to drop by and say thank you for the awesome, awesome show in Zagreb - seriously, it was the best gig I’ve seen in ages. Can’t believe I would have missed it had I not bumped into you in that train. So lucky. I brought a tone-deaf, musically-ignorant, deeply unhip friend along to see you and even he thought you were fantastic. Seriously dude, you rock. I was in awe. Oh, and next time you drop by (there will be a next time, right? Zagreb loves you :)), make sure you bring some merch/CDs/whatever, because I feel terribly guilty for stealing all your albums off the Internet. :)  Oh, and if you’re in the mood for some awesome ex-Yugoslavian music, it doesn’t get much better than this - feel free to steal it:
http://www.mediafire.com/?u4xjwgzeuut
(insanely amazing post-punk from the early 80s)
...
well, that’s about it. I’m only writing this cos I didn’t have time to say thanks after the show,  had to run and catch the train back home. Hope you had fun at the film festival and Budapest or wherever it is that life has taken you. All the best,
Dora

[ LINK ]

Dora
Mar 3, 09


Hey Dora,
After my gig in Zagreb, I had a day off.

I ended up going to the film fest. After trying to uncode the festival schedule (written in Croatian as you know), I ducked into a cyber-cafe and found an English version on-line.

I made my way to the festival and asked if I could buy a ticket. The man behind the glass said, “No you can’t buy a ticket, because it’s free.”

Did you make it to the fest in the end? I saw “Brides of Allah”. A kind of MTV’s “The Real World”  2 year portrait of a women’s prison in Israel. 

Anyway, it was a pleasure meeting you in that cold war era train compartment. It was bleak in there, but brilliant. Like a film-set. Glad you could make it to the gig.

MacDonalds? Once they get their foot in the door, they’re harder to get rid of than tatoo’s. You’ve tried the rest, here come the west….

Have it your way!

Yours,
C

Chuck
Mar 4, 09


what a writer you are.  i’m not sure why i’m surprised.

chloe
Jan 7, 10


Hey Chuck, im back. You may (not) remember me introducing you to my mum at a gig in Leicester (England), who at 85 is still a big fan. I saw you so many times now (both with G on R and solo), I should have lost count. The last time was in Vienna, when you were there last time out.

I just wanted to get with you on the possibility of you giving me a break from the trains and boats and planes and coming to play a gig in the town I call home - Budapest, Hungary.

Sure, I know its not the most rock n roll town in the former Eastern block (hell, if I could afford to live and work in Serbia - THE premier rock n roll town of for many a kilometer - I surely would, although I already lived in too many underpaid places in my life to make it affordable) but I think its somewhere you havent played before and, I’m guessing, you’d probably like to.

Sure, as well, there WOULD be a more than big enough audience for what you do - excellent as it always is. So would you think about it? I’ve been here a good few years (7 actually - for work) and I happen to know the place more than well enough now to guarantee you some nice venues and some love of the people. In fact, if you just tell me what you want, I’ll find it for you. The Serbs (I love em too, really!!) are not the only ones who can lay on a gig for you and help sort you out. I just need to know a bit more about what it would take to get you here.

Feel like dropping me line? It would be nice. Let freedom ring in Budapest? Heaven knows, we could use it!

Ashley
Jan 23, 10




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